Life

Well, Life is crazy.. A year ago I would NEVER imagined my life being in such chaos. I don't want to go into detail, but it has been a horrible 5 months and sadly I don't know what the future holds for my family. I have been told not to be hopeful, but I am hopeful that my family will make it out of the horrible storm we are in. I love my two sons more then life itself and that is all that matters right now. I need to start writing on here more, it really does help....

Why Me?

Well...Things are going well in the Hosking household, but sadly it doesn't help the hurt of still missing our baby girl...We should have an almost 2 year old girl running around, but she is up in heaven...I LOVE Peyton SOO much, but it still stinks he doesn't have an older brother and sister. The littlest things trigger us missing sweet Kinley. Last night at dinner there was a cute little girl with brown stringy hair and you can't help but wonder...Would Kinley look like her? It just makes me so mad...why me???????? I wanted her so badly, but I try not to dwell, I know I have two healthy boys and I will be praying for a 3rd baby in the next year to complete our family. I hope everyone is doing great :)

1 year old...

Peyton is almost 6 months old, but the grief of losing Kinley is still with me daily. I don't cry often, but every once and while I let myself feel the grief I still have in my heart and always will. She would be 1 year old now, and I can't help but think about what she would look like, how her and Elijah would get along, ect BUT then I think about if she was here, I would not have Peyton..It is such a hard and bitter sweet emotion...

crazy times

It has been a crazy few months...I haven't been blogging much because my whole family has been sick since I came back to work!! Peyton was in the hospital for 3 days with RSV...Elijah had strep throat and my hubby and I both have been sick on a off...We are finally all healthy. I can't wait for the weather to stay nice. I have to finish up my 50+ page master's paper then I will be ALL done with this program! I can't wait to enjoy my summer and have no more school forever!! I hope everyone is doing well! I will update more later!

Just Some pics!

5 weeks old!

Well, Peyton is doing great! It was a rough first 4 weeks..I felt like a zombie, but he is finally startinbg to sleep longer stretches at night! He has a clogged tear duct, so we are using drops and hopefully it works itself out! Elijah is the best big brother, he helps me a lot! I am anxious to see how much Peyton weighs at his 2 month appointment...He is growing like a weed! He was having tummy problems, but we finally figured out a formula that works with him! Well, I will post more later when I don't have a 4 year old and 5 week old need my attention! :)

Going home today!

Well, I had Peyton Monday morning and we get to go home this morning! YAY
I can't wait to have this baby home and snuggle him all day! I am so in love and happy to have all 3 of my boys now! I can't ever say our family is "complete" but it is very close to that. We do want one more child though, so in another 3 years that is something we will talk about. And no, we won't be "trying" for a girl, we will be "trying" for a healthy child. If I am blessed with 3 living boys, then thats what I will get! I have Kinley in heaven and that is the only girl I get, then thats what I will live with. I will always love her and I will meet her one day in heaven. For now, I am focusing on my living gifts here on earth and I am so over joyed to have gotten this wonderful baby boy, just in time for Christmas! I can't believe in the last 11 months I have lost a baby and delivered a full-term baby...WOW, that is crazy....I am sure I will have an amotional break down soon, we will see...OK, I am leaving you with some more pictures!!