"bad day"

Today was a "bad" day..I wasn't sure why, but it just was...Then I thought about the date 2/18. One month ago today I lay in the U/S room and found out my daughter grew her wings. It is so surreal, but sometimes it just hits me like a ton of bricks. Did this really happen to me? I am supposed to be 26 weeks pregnant, decorating her nursery, and buying cute pink little outfits. Except now I am waiting for my AF and thinking about starting all over again.

I know there is a reason for all this, but in this moment it is so hard to think about that. Everyone around me is pregnant. I am SO happy for them, but it hurts that I am not. My husband has been sad recently, and he wanted a baby girl so badly. He has been my rock, and he says he is not afraid to try again.

I called the OB today, but they said the autopsy results were not in yet. That is making me SO anxious. I am sure there is nothing to note, but it is still scary. I am hoping tomorrow is better. I miss her, I miss our future, and I miss Elijah never meeting his baby sister here on earth. I do know one thing though...We will all be reunited one day up in that great big sky :)

Praying for a rainbow after the storm...Mommy loves you Kinley